Dystopia Is The New Utopia

Remember that one time I challenged myself to Patti Digh's writing challenge?  If not, you can find that ambitious blog post here.  Well, life happened.  I realized that committing myself to one blog post a week was absurd. After all, I was at the beginning of the end of the school year.  Obviously I was in a delusional state of mind.  Secondly, while her writing is A-MAZING, I found myself bored with the writing prompts.  Each one seemed as though I was about to write a self-help "let me teach you how to live your life through my amazing example, because I'm rocking at this whole living life in the most virtuous of ways thing." 

Mrs. Digh, we need to set the record straight. I'm not amazing at life; in fact, sometimes I really suck at life.  The other day I had a little bit of road rage when a guy on a road bike cut me off (because bikes that involve pedaling should not be allowed in the road with other vehicles).  I also scream a few choice words whenever I stub my toe.  Oh, and sometimes I like to skip the last five minutes of my workout DVD, and make chocolate chip pancakes instead.

While I'm all for the happy-go-lucky, inspiring writing, I'm also a fan of realism: depicting the world for what it is, and not what it could be.  Sometimes life is going to suck, and let's be honest, misery loves company.  That's why someone fabricated reality T.V. and gossip magazines.  We indulge in other peoples misery to make ourselves feel better.  At least that's what I do when I watch The Bachelorette.

Moral of this post: I'm keeping this blog real.  I'll be writing about the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I will also make no apologies for any punctuation/grammar errors I make (like the millions of run-on sentences in this post).

I've been hanging with Goole and Pintrest lately, and have found some writing prompts that I'm actually excited about.

Stay Tune.

Useful Life Lessons

Life: Just over a month ago, I was on a late-night flight home from New York.  My sister-in-law and niece accompanied me.  We landed at what was 2 am New York time.  When our plane stopped at our gate, I took off my seat belt, smiled down at Gabby, and noticed a sudden furrowed brow.  The next thing I know, she sternly belts, "NO!" and sucker-punches me right in the face.  I can't blame her.  A tired two year old who had been contained on a nonstop, five hour flight, stuck in between her mother and overzealous aunt...I would have punched me too. I just hope that one day she doesn't view me as that aunt.  You know, the old aunt that you dread to see because she wears thick maroon lipstick that somehow ends up all over your face, smells like an old lady who lives with cats, and wears outdated Avon perfume. Please God, don't let me be that aunt.

Lesson: Don't mess with a grumpy toddler.

Life: A couple of weeks ago I arrived at school around 6:40.  I was preparing for what I was predicting to be a long day. As I was walking back from the copy machine, I suddenly noticed that something didn't quite feel right.  I cringed in horror when I looked down and noticed that I had two different pairs of boots on.  One boot had a heel, and the other boot was flat.  There was no time to run home and change, so I just went with it. Maybe I would start a new trend like Regina George in Mean Girls.  All I got out of that day was sarcastic comments from my students/coworkers, and a sore hip.  

Lesson: Don't be irresponsible with Netflix by staying up too late on a school night.

Life: It was a perfect spring day.  I had 100 things on my to-do list, but decided to veto them all.  I sat on the grass in shorts and a tank-top, and let my pale skin soak in the suns glorious beams of warmth, while reading a book.

Lesson: The to-do list will still be there tomorrow.  

Life: There's a commercial airing on T.V. that annoys me to no end.  It's advertising one of those cheesy online dating websites (which I don't believe in for many reasons, but hey that's just me). Anyway, some 'random' guy on the street is asking this lady how her dating life is.  She basically says that it's horrible because she's relying on her friends to set her up with the 'perfect' guy.  The sales person gives his whole spiel, and at the end asks: Now, who knows who the right guy is for you?  To which the lady replies,  I guess, me.

1. She uses the phrase, "I guess."  Lady, where is the self-confidence you should have for yourself?!
2. Why do online dating commercials always make it look as though the woman is always the desperate and single one???

So now to my point.  I've had a lot of big decisions I've had to make in the recent months.  Lucky for me, I am surrounded by loving family, friends, and mentors who want nothing but the best for me. There have been so many thoughts and advice from people coming from all different directions, that I began to doubt my own credibility, and myself.

Lesson: I had to learn to listen to my own instincts/heart, and be confident with the decision I've made.  I think it's so important to seek advice from those you trust, but even more important to have trust and peace in yourself.  After all, Audrey Hepburn did say, "Nothing is impossible.  The word itself says, 'I'm Possible'!"

Josefa Martinez: My Grandma

My dearest abuelita,

Today is your 82nd birthday.  I have a feeling you're with Grandpa right now having a big fiesta.  You were always so good at planning big parties.  My favorite birthday of yours was four years ago when Mari threw you a surprise party.  I will never forget how much we danced that night. You looked so happy, and so in your element.

I've been feeling nostalgic about you lately, and I mean everything about you.  Your laugh, your smile, the way you carried yourself with the utmost propriety.  I used to love watching you get ready at your vanity when I was a little girl. The way you would flawlessly put on lipstick, and the way you carefully chose the best jewelry to go with your dress for mass.  Your beauty radiated such power, yet such poise.

I want you to know that I look up to you, Grandma.  Mari gave the most beautiful eulogy of your life. I learned many new things about you, things that I've never heard before.  I just want to say thank you.  Thank you for being strong. Thank you for always standing up for what was right, and being the voice for those who didn't have one.  Thank you for your kindness, your charity, and most of all, thank you for your love.  I am proud to have your blood running through my veins.

***The eulogy below was written by Mari and Alex Palau.  Please take the time to read the beautiful story of a beautiful woman.

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Josefa: A Firey Woman

Many are the women who have fought necessary battles to claim their own right to live a free and fair life, for themselves, for their families and for those in need.

Josefa has been one of those women that has stood up and fought the good fight.

As a young girl, the eldest of her family of 9 siblings, she was raised,  “En un ambiente de servitud; las mujeres, sirven a los hombres de la familia.” (Women are to serve men”)

Although Josefa learned the traditional roles of a woman; to respect and serve the men and to care for the children, she did not do it with a bowed head.  Josefa was a proud woman and she knew that a woman’s place was to serve out of a sense of Love, not duty to some false sense that a man was in some way superior to a woman.

In a culture and a time where women were duty, bound and tied, Josefa struggled to hold true to service in Love and fight against the injustice of being thought of as less, because she was a woman.

In her own words, Yo era muy pelionera. Me llamaban “Juana Gallo” because if anyone disrespected her younger siblings, she would make sure to stand up for them and strike a blow or two for justice.

But Josefa grew up in a home where a woman was the first one up in the morning, patting the masa back and forth between her hands to make fresh tortillas, and allowing the inviting smell of tortillas cooking on the comal, be the call for all to awaken to the day. Feeding the family and sending them off with meals for the day was followed by long hours of doing chores by hand, chores now made easy by our appliances.  

As the eldest child of the family, Josefa wanted to help provide for her family and took a job as a nursing assistant in a Catholic hospital. She took the job even though her father wanted her to stay at home. She chose her path, worked with pride in the hospital and when one of the nuns treated her with disrespect, giving her just the most menial cleanup jobs, she chose to walk away. The mother superior called her back and convinced her to continue her good work in the hospital, which she did, bringing her earnings home to her father and mother.

Along this time she met Arturo, her true Love, although then, he was just a young man who impressed her with his good looks, good manners, wit and charm.

Arturo would come to the hospital at the end of her day to walk her home and the nuns confronted Josefa about the intentions of this young gallant, and she assured them that he was kind and respectful. Arturo however, was also a man, “en la busca por una mejor vida”, so he emigrated to San Francisco leaving Josefa behind, while he made his better life.

Josefa stayed in Nuevo Laredo and took a job at a factory.  It was there that an employee’s careless actions, resulted in an injury to Josefa that broke her pelvis and she remained hospitalized for three months. She received a meager monetary settlement from the factory, but it was that money which gave her the resources to pay for legal counsel and apply for citizenship papers for herself and her family.  She was a young woman taking on responsibilities beyond the expectations of her gender and limited experience, but she pushed forward with the help that God provides when there is important work to be done and when the work was done, she walked with her brothers and sisters legally across the border, leading them to a better life, and a home she helped pay for with her settlement.

Arturo eventually came back for her and although she cautioned him that she had suffered injury and feared she was not whole, he did not see her as broken and promised that love would heal the wounds. They were married and Josefa often told the story that on their wedding night, Arturo brought her back home to her father and said he would return for her in the morning. She saw that as a great sign of respect and moral character on my father’s part; and she was right. Her husband Arturo, my father, was a great man and I thank my mother, for she could not have chosen a better husband nor a better father for her children.

Arturo brought her here to San Francisco and they enjoyed a great life here, spanning 54 years. Josefa raised her family like she was raised, with stern words and a firm hand, yet time and the love taught her to soften and to open her heart to her children, to her grandchildren, to her great grandchildren and to the extended family and friends her children brought into her life.

Through the church and her community life she has been of good service to those less fortunate: joining in efforts to raise funds for the orphans of Salamanca, taking into her home the sick and homeless, providing a home for her family when they were in need, visiting the sick in hospitals, standing up for those in need.

She always found ways to keep fighting for those in need or those oppressed.

I think in all her life, Josefa did not forget her humble beginnings, nor did she forget the example set by her mother Lupe, who would make tacitos for the homeless that wandered by their doorway hungry and even feed babies her own mother’s milk, when their mothers could not.

Josefa was a proud woman, she fought the good fight, learning over a lifetime how to fight for a good cause and how to stop fighting, for the cause of Love. She raised a good and caring family and has proudly enjoyed many birthdays and many weddings with her 4 children her 10 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren.

She celebrated 54 years of marriage to a great man.

She has been rich in friendship and enjoyed much laughter and lots of dancing with her loyal circle of friends, who have kept her spirits high after the passing of Arturo. Just a few months ago, she celebrated a wonderful Christmas with her family in Laredo, her sisters, brothers, nephews, nieces and extended family, reunited y pasandolo bien.

 In her final days, mom was lovingly cared for, not only by the women of the family, but also by the men of the family. Jess, Fili,  Juan, and Alex assisted her in all aspects of her care; none of the men relinquished their responsibility. Mom taught us to love, serve, and support our loved ones and the community at large despite our gender. All should serve in the name of love. Our family will now carry on those virtues, and if needed we will channel the spirit of , “Juana Gallo” to help fight for love and what is right, so look out!

And now, I am here, as her daughter, to say that from what I can see, my mother has lived a good and full life. And in her name, I thank all of you who have been so important to her, as her family and her friends.

Dicen que los muertos no se pueden llevar las riquesas de este mundo, pero estoy segura que mi mama se lleva el amor de todos aqui. (They say the dead cannot take earth’s riches; but I am sure my mother has taken with her all the love that is here today…)

Vaya con Dios mami; The angels await you, your parents Juan and Lupe await you, and your love eternal,  Arturo, awaits  you. Go and basque with them in the light of paradise and continue dancing, laughing, and rest in eternal peace….One day we shall meet again....

Until we meet again....

Joy

Alex here.  Due to my spring break vacation, and an unexpected trip to San Francisco, I missed last weeks writing challenge.  The prompt was, what things bring me joy.  They say pictures are worth a thousand words, so without further ado: my happiness in pictures.

Family.

My niece, Gabriella.  I could kiss that chocolate stash right off of her.

Life-long friends.

New York City.

 Traveling and beautiful places.

Music/Singing/Broadway.

Learning.

Adventures.

Being in the kitchen.

Being active and tumbling.

I am a firm believer that it's the simple and creative things in life that bring us the purest kind of  joy and happiness.  

Live Intentionally

Saturday I was driving solo to San Francisco to visit my Grandmother.  It was a beautiful day; there wasn't a cloud in the sky.  I jumped at the opportunity to blast whatever music I wanted, and sang at the top of my lungs.  This lasted most of the way there.  While passing through Sacramento, I had the brief thought,

"I wonder if people driving past me have been laughing and starring as I rock out to mostly Broadway music, and some Britney Spears..."  

The thought quickly left my mind as another song came on, and I once again began to carry on in my own quirky way, like no one was watching.

The drive back, however, was starkly different.  My mood was somber, reflective.  The weather was angry.  Thick gray clouds plastered the sky, and my windshield wipers could barely keep up with the torrential rain as I drove through the mountain passes.  I watched anxiously as cars in front of me hydroplaned, and large trucks zipping by dumped, what felt like, hundreds of gallons of water onto my little corolla.  I kept praying that the Black Pearl and myself would make it home in one piece.

It's amazing to me how quickly life can change.  One minute you're rocking out without a care in the world, and the next, you have to make an effort to get through the day in one piece.  We've all been there. Without going into too much detail, my family has faced a lot of tragedy in the last six months. The loss of my Grandfather shook me to the core, and now my Grandmother is in her last few days/weeks of life. I write this not for you, or anyone else to feel sorry for me, but to challenge you to embrace that which is most important to you in life.  It sounds cliche, but there is so much truth in living everyday like it's your last.

The writing challenge for this week was, what makes you, you?  I've had lots of time to think about it this week.  I think the best way to describe myself is in two simple words: live intentionally.

When I'm at the end of my life, I want to look back and know that I loved fiercely.  That I took the time to get to know others, without judgment.  That I opened my mind to all the knowledge that my brain could absorb.  I want to read every book on my reading list.  I want to have discussions with people who challenge me, or make me think on a deeper level.  I want to experience the kind of love that absorbs every fiber of your being.  I want the hardships and joy of raising a family.  I want to do everything that I said I'd do.  I want to live so that I have stories to tell.   When the day comes to stand in front of my God, I want to stand with confidence in knowing that I lived the best life I could; with honest and true intentions.

But that's just me...

Real Life and Creativity

Have you ever heard of Patti Digh?  She is an amazing author, speaker, and an advocate for creativity and learning.  I love her books and blog.  She brings such passion and ingenuity to her writing; it's inspiring and thought provoking.  One of her books I own is Life Is a Verb.  The book was inspired by her stepfather who was diagnosed with cancer, and consequently died 37 days later.  She then made a commitment to ask herself every morning: What would I be doing if I only had 37 days to live?  It doesn't focus on death; rather, living.  A verb is an action word, so the title Life Is a Verb, speaks for itself.

Anyway, her book is interactive.  She gives you 37 writing prompts and challenges you to act upon them; whether it's giving in and splurging with a chocolate bar, or doing a random act of kindness.  It encourages you to slow down and enjoy the littlest of things: your weekend pancakes to a road trip with your friends.  With that said, I am challenging myself with her writing prompts.  Every week I will stop, think, and write.  Coming up: what makes you, you?  I think this will be a good introduction to my new blog. 

For now, I will leave you with this thought: Don't separate 'real' life from 'creative' life. ~Patti Digh