Josefa Martinez: My Grandma

My dearest abuelita,

Today is your 82nd birthday.  I have a feeling you're with Grandpa right now having a big fiesta.  You were always so good at planning big parties.  My favorite birthday of yours was four years ago when Mari threw you a surprise party.  I will never forget how much we danced that night. You looked so happy, and so in your element.

I've been feeling nostalgic about you lately, and I mean everything about you.  Your laugh, your smile, the way you carried yourself with the utmost propriety.  I used to love watching you get ready at your vanity when I was a little girl. The way you would flawlessly put on lipstick, and the way you carefully chose the best jewelry to go with your dress for mass.  Your beauty radiated such power, yet such poise.

I want you to know that I look up to you, Grandma.  Mari gave the most beautiful eulogy of your life. I learned many new things about you, things that I've never heard before.  I just want to say thank you.  Thank you for being strong. Thank you for always standing up for what was right, and being the voice for those who didn't have one.  Thank you for your kindness, your charity, and most of all, thank you for your love.  I am proud to have your blood running through my veins.

***The eulogy below was written by Mari and Alex Palau.  Please take the time to read the beautiful story of a beautiful woman.

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Josefa: A Firey Woman

Many are the women who have fought necessary battles to claim their own right to live a free and fair life, for themselves, for their families and for those in need.

Josefa has been one of those women that has stood up and fought the good fight.

As a young girl, the eldest of her family of 9 siblings, she was raised,  “En un ambiente de servitud; las mujeres, sirven a los hombres de la familia.” (Women are to serve men”)

Although Josefa learned the traditional roles of a woman; to respect and serve the men and to care for the children, she did not do it with a bowed head.  Josefa was a proud woman and she knew that a woman’s place was to serve out of a sense of Love, not duty to some false sense that a man was in some way superior to a woman.

In a culture and a time where women were duty, bound and tied, Josefa struggled to hold true to service in Love and fight against the injustice of being thought of as less, because she was a woman.

In her own words, Yo era muy pelionera. Me llamaban “Juana Gallo” because if anyone disrespected her younger siblings, she would make sure to stand up for them and strike a blow or two for justice.

But Josefa grew up in a home where a woman was the first one up in the morning, patting the masa back and forth between her hands to make fresh tortillas, and allowing the inviting smell of tortillas cooking on the comal, be the call for all to awaken to the day. Feeding the family and sending them off with meals for the day was followed by long hours of doing chores by hand, chores now made easy by our appliances.  

As the eldest child of the family, Josefa wanted to help provide for her family and took a job as a nursing assistant in a Catholic hospital. She took the job even though her father wanted her to stay at home. She chose her path, worked with pride in the hospital and when one of the nuns treated her with disrespect, giving her just the most menial cleanup jobs, she chose to walk away. The mother superior called her back and convinced her to continue her good work in the hospital, which she did, bringing her earnings home to her father and mother.

Along this time she met Arturo, her true Love, although then, he was just a young man who impressed her with his good looks, good manners, wit and charm.

Arturo would come to the hospital at the end of her day to walk her home and the nuns confronted Josefa about the intentions of this young gallant, and she assured them that he was kind and respectful. Arturo however, was also a man, “en la busca por una mejor vida”, so he emigrated to San Francisco leaving Josefa behind, while he made his better life.

Josefa stayed in Nuevo Laredo and took a job at a factory.  It was there that an employee’s careless actions, resulted in an injury to Josefa that broke her pelvis and she remained hospitalized for three months. She received a meager monetary settlement from the factory, but it was that money which gave her the resources to pay for legal counsel and apply for citizenship papers for herself and her family.  She was a young woman taking on responsibilities beyond the expectations of her gender and limited experience, but she pushed forward with the help that God provides when there is important work to be done and when the work was done, she walked with her brothers and sisters legally across the border, leading them to a better life, and a home she helped pay for with her settlement.

Arturo eventually came back for her and although she cautioned him that she had suffered injury and feared she was not whole, he did not see her as broken and promised that love would heal the wounds. They were married and Josefa often told the story that on their wedding night, Arturo brought her back home to her father and said he would return for her in the morning. She saw that as a great sign of respect and moral character on my father’s part; and she was right. Her husband Arturo, my father, was a great man and I thank my mother, for she could not have chosen a better husband nor a better father for her children.

Arturo brought her here to San Francisco and they enjoyed a great life here, spanning 54 years. Josefa raised her family like she was raised, with stern words and a firm hand, yet time and the love taught her to soften and to open her heart to her children, to her grandchildren, to her great grandchildren and to the extended family and friends her children brought into her life.

Through the church and her community life she has been of good service to those less fortunate: joining in efforts to raise funds for the orphans of Salamanca, taking into her home the sick and homeless, providing a home for her family when they were in need, visiting the sick in hospitals, standing up for those in need.

She always found ways to keep fighting for those in need or those oppressed.

I think in all her life, Josefa did not forget her humble beginnings, nor did she forget the example set by her mother Lupe, who would make tacitos for the homeless that wandered by their doorway hungry and even feed babies her own mother’s milk, when their mothers could not.

Josefa was a proud woman, she fought the good fight, learning over a lifetime how to fight for a good cause and how to stop fighting, for the cause of Love. She raised a good and caring family and has proudly enjoyed many birthdays and many weddings with her 4 children her 10 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren.

She celebrated 54 years of marriage to a great man.

She has been rich in friendship and enjoyed much laughter and lots of dancing with her loyal circle of friends, who have kept her spirits high after the passing of Arturo. Just a few months ago, she celebrated a wonderful Christmas with her family in Laredo, her sisters, brothers, nephews, nieces and extended family, reunited y pasandolo bien.

 In her final days, mom was lovingly cared for, not only by the women of the family, but also by the men of the family. Jess, Fili,  Juan, and Alex assisted her in all aspects of her care; none of the men relinquished their responsibility. Mom taught us to love, serve, and support our loved ones and the community at large despite our gender. All should serve in the name of love. Our family will now carry on those virtues, and if needed we will channel the spirit of , “Juana Gallo” to help fight for love and what is right, so look out!

And now, I am here, as her daughter, to say that from what I can see, my mother has lived a good and full life. And in her name, I thank all of you who have been so important to her, as her family and her friends.

Dicen que los muertos no se pueden llevar las riquesas de este mundo, pero estoy segura que mi mama se lleva el amor de todos aqui. (They say the dead cannot take earth’s riches; but I am sure my mother has taken with her all the love that is here today…)

Vaya con Dios mami; The angels await you, your parents Juan and Lupe await you, and your love eternal,  Arturo, awaits  you. Go and basque with them in the light of paradise and continue dancing, laughing, and rest in eternal peace….One day we shall meet again....

Until we meet again....